


A Call From the Vatican

by edgarallanrose



Series: Season 13 Codas and Ficlets [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (kinda), But these things happen nonetheless, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s13e07 War of the Worlds, Episode: s13e08 The Scorpion and the Frog, Implied Lucifer/Sam Winchester, It's probably slightly less sexy than the tags imply, M/M, Masturbation Insinuation, Phone Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 21:51:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgarallanrose/pseuds/edgarallanrose
Summary: “Hello, Dean.”Castiel thought it would get easier hearing this out of the demon’s mouth; it was almost always Dean that called. But his chest still ached and his stomach still dropped. What he wouldn’t give to hear Dean’s voice, to scream from his cell, to cry out his name.Episode Coda for 13x07: War of the Worlds AND 13x08 The Scorpion and the Frog





	A Call From the Vatican

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I'm a wee bit late on this. Truthfully I had the idea for this right after 13x07 aired, but the holidays are happening and finals are happening so life is pretty mad at the moment. But I wanted to keep up on the codas, and it kind of worked out better that I could combine elements from 13x07 and 13x08. AND it's twice the length as my usual for this type of thing to make up for skipping a week ^_^
> 
> Of course, spoilers for both episodes. Unbeta'd. Title from song of the same name from the musical "Nine." I dare you guys to look it up.

For an angel, Castiel spent an inordinate amount of time in Hell.

Of course, time moved differently in Hell than on Earth, so it was hard to say what that exact amount of time may be. But any amount, as far as he was concerned, was too much.

There was only one trip to Hell that he would never regret.

This particular instance was hardly a trip, but Cas was trying to make the best of it. He thought he might be able to gather intel, keep an eye on the demons progress with Jack.

Instead, Cas found himself sitting helplessly on the floor of his cell, head against the cold, stone walls, eyes shut tight and desperately trying to recreate the effect of unconsciousness.

“So, anyway, I am _elbow deep_ in this meat suit’s esophagus, right?”

“Lucifer, please. ”

“And he is, like, still trying to talk to me! Begging for mercy with my fist down his throat! Wild, I know. So, I say to him –”

A phone rings in the throne room. It’s Castiel’s ringtone.

“Stop talking,” Cas said, getting up on his feet and moving to the other side of his cell, “the phone.”

“The phooone,” Lucifer mocked. Cas could see the left half of Lucifer in the other cell now that he’d moved closer to the bars. Lucifer leaned casually against the wall, one arm slung outside the door. “Stop everything because my boyfriend is calling on the phoooone. I have to hear much he loooves me, how much he misses me, how much he needs my –”

“Hello, Sam,” said a voice identical to Castiel’s from the other room. Asmodeus.

“Sammy?” Lucifer said, perking up a bit. Cas rolled his eyes.

“No, nothing new to mention at the moment,” Asmodeus said. “Oh, no. That turned out to be nothing. What about you? Have you heard anything?”

“You have to admit,” Lucifer muttered out of the corner of his mouth, “he really gets your whole Sanctimonious Snob thing right on the money. Right down to the trademark exasperated sigh. It’s impressive.”

“Shut up.”

“Well then,” Asmodeus said, still as Castiel, though his accent may have intruded slightly. Something upset him. “Let me know if you do. I’m worried, too. Mhmm. Dean? Oh, no, I don’t need to speak with him. Yes, I’m sure, no need to bother him. Please tell him I say hi back. Thanks. Bye, Sam.”

Cas huffed out a sigh. That was hardly helpful. If anything, it made him feel worse.

“See, that’s the exact sigh I was talking about. Anyway, you think I could learn that voice trick?” Lucifer mused. “It’d be nice to chat with Sammy again, just catch up, shoot the shit.” Cas ignored him, pacing his cell, trying to go over the phone conversation again in his head in case he missed something. “What is it about those Winchester boys, eh, Cas? I still can’t quite pinpoint the allure, but I won’t deny it affects me, too. _You_ understand. I know that much.”

\---

The phone rang. Even Lucifer paused what was his fourth consecutive hour of a one-man performance of The Who’s _Tommy,_ using the bars and walls as instruments, in order to listen.

“Hello, Dean.”

Castiel thought it would get easier hearing this out of the demon’s mouth; it was almost always Dean that called. But his chest still ached and his stomach still dropped. What he wouldn’t give to hear Dean’s voice, to scream from his cell, to cry out his name.

“A cross-roads demon?” Asmodeus said. “Dean, you know better than that. You could have…oh, I see. That is interesting. No, I’ve never heard of such a spell, but I will look into it. What was that demons name again?”

“Ah shiiit,” Lucifer said, appearing again in partial view through the bars, “looks like your boy made progress. Dean: 1, Asmo-douche: 0.”

“Your running commentary is not, nor is it ever, appreciated,” Cas said.

“C’mon, Castiel, lighten up.”

Cas rounded on Lucifer.

“I’m sorry, but if the fate of your son is a joke to you then I am more than happy to remind you that if it’s up to me you will never lay eyes him. Not even once.”

“Uh, Cas, look –”

“No, you look. We may both be trapped here now, but as soon as Sam and Dean find Jack, they will find me, and your ass can burn in the cage for the rest of –”

“Castiel!”

“What!”

When Cas noticed Lucifer’s gaze was fixed behind him he turned around. Asmodeus stood there, phone in hand, cocking an eyebrow.

“As amusing as this is,” Asmodeus drawled, “I need some quick assistance, Castiel. I’m afraid my disguise does not extend to your personal memories and Dean has referenced one occasion too many I could not properly comment on. As much as I like to say so, he is not that stupid. You have five minutes to speak with him. Get him off our tail.”

“No,” Castiel said, though it nearly killed him to say so. “Keep up the charade on your own.”

“You will speak to him,” Asmodeus said, “and you will not give anything away, or you and those boys will be dead faster than you can blink.”

“Like we haven’t tried that before,” Lucifer sneered.

“Silence,” Asmodeus barked at him.

Lucifer was right. It was an empty threat as far as Castiel was concerned. It was hard not to feel invincible after yet another resurrection, and he knew Sam and Dean could take on Asmodeus. Every other Prince of Hell was already dead by their hands.

 However, he now had the opportunity to hear Dean’s voice. He could cooperate and buy some more time, or hint something subtle, just enough for the idea to form in Dean’s head that something was off.

Before Cas could decide Asmodeus had taken the phone off of mute and pressed it into his hand. Cas raised the phone to his ear and took a deep breath.

“Dean?” Cas said. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah, can you hear me now?”

It was like an oasis in the desert the way his voice filled Cas with such joy and relief.

“I can hear you,” Cas said, trying to speak normally. Asmodeus’ hateful eyes were still on him, standing outside his cell arms crossed and foot tapping. He could see Lucifer leaning as far through the cell door as the bars would allow him. Though it was futile, Cas moved to the back wall to put as much space between him and them. He closed his eyes and saw Dean, and only Dean.

“Where are you anyway?” Dean asked.

“Nowhere special,” Cas said.

“Just on the move, huh? Like always.” Dean laughed, but the sound was hollow.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, man. It’s just…you just got back and already found a reason to be somewhere else.” Cas tried to interject but Dean spoke over him. “Don’t get me wrong, I understand this is important and necessary. I’m just selfish I guess.”

“Where are you?” Cas asked, not sure how to respond, trying to ignore the smug smile he could sense from Asmodeus.

“Just in the bunker. In my room, uh, in bed.”

“Oh. Do you want to go to sleep?”

“No. Um, actually, Cas, I was wondering something.”

Asmodeus cleared his throat behind him. Cas looked over his shoulder and Asmodeus held up three fingers and impatiently tapped his wrist. Cas rolled his eyes at him.

“What is it Dean?”

“What would you do if you were here with me right now?” Dean said it in a rush, like he had to get all the words out before he stopped himself. This seemed odd for the question at hand.

“Well, we would probably be in the library on our third pot of coffee, doing research and looking for Jack.”

“No, I mean – ha, that’s literally what Sam is doing right now – but I meant here with _me_. Like, in my room or even in my bed.”

All the blood rushed to Cas’ face.

“Why would I be in your bed?”

 _“Holy shit_ ,” Lucifer whispered, “he is not about to have phone sex with Dean Winchester in front of me. What. The. Shit!”

Cas opened his mouth to retort before remembering he couldn’t, but was stopped short when he realized what Lucifer said. Phone sex? That sounded very uncomfortable.

“Like, for instance,” Dean said, lowering his voice, “if you were here I would invite you to my room and make you take off that damn trench coat and relax for a bit, see?”

Oh. _Oh._

“Dean, this really isn’t a good time for –”

“I know you stepped outside and probably can’t say anything that isn’t PG,” Dean said, hurried again, “and that we’ve never really talked about this before, and we don’t have to talk about it ever again, but I need you right now, Cas, if you can play along.” He ended the sentence like a question, desperate.

“Holy shit, holy shit!” Lucifer whispered over and over until Asmodeus finally flicked a hand to shut him up, Lucifer’s head hitting the wall hard enough to knock him out. Cas was begrudgingly grateful. He looked over at Asmodeus, who made a gesture to continue.

“Yes, Dean,” Cas said. “Whatever you need.”

“We’ll do yes or no questions, okay?” Dean said. It sounded like he was repositioning himself; Cas could hear the rustle of sheets in the background.

“Okay.”

“Would you let me kiss you?”

“Yes,” Cas said without hesitation. Dean sucked in a breath.

“Would you let me touch you?”

“Yes.”

“Where?” he asked, already breaking his ‘yes or no’ rule. Cas didn’t mind.

“Everywhere.”

“Mmm,” Dean said. There was more rustling, a catch in his breath. “Would you touch and kiss me back?”

“Yes.”

“Would you pin me down on the bed and press your body on top of mine? Use that superhuman strength to keep my wrists in place so you can touch me wherever you want? I would let you, Cas, I want you to. Fuck, do you want me?”

“Yes, Dean, yes.” Cas’ head was spinning. Cas had truly lost hope that this was something he would ever discuss with Dean, had convinced himself that his desire was unrequited. He had made peace with it, he loved Dean regardless. And while this was hardly an ideal way of finding out there was something there after all, Cas would ride this feeling of utter elation for the next 1000 years.

“Jesus, Cas, I wish you were here, wish you could see me like this.”

“Like what?”

“Using my hand,” he stuttered, his breathing heavy, “pretending it’s you.”

“Dean…” Cas tugged his trench coat in front of the bulge growing in his own pants, for what good it did. Asmodeus cleared his throat again, sounding more uncomfortable this time. Cas ignored him.

“Fuck, Cas. Love your voice.”

“You do?”

“Sure. All deep and gravelly. It’s sexy.”

“Dean, I –”

“Yes,” he hissed, “say it again.”

“Dean?”

“Fuck, yes, say my name.”

“Dean,” he said, emphatically, drawing it out, like a benediction, a prayer. “ _Dean_.” Asmodeus was frowning now and stepped right up to the door.

Dean moaned on the end of the line, gasped, and then was quiet except for the sound of his breathing.

“Christ,” Dean said with a small chuckle. “Guess it didn’t take much. Kind of embarrassing, to be honest. Sorry if you didn’t get to…uh….”

“Don’t be,” Cas said. “I enjoyed that very much.”

“Good,” Dean said, sounding genuinely relieved.

Asmodeus placed his hand outstretch through the bars and mouthed, “ _now_.” Cas glared, but acquiesced.

“Dean, I’m so sorry, I have to go.”

“Yeah, it’s okay, it’s getting pretty late. Or early, I guess.” He yawned. “I should hit the hay for real this time.”

“But Dean, please understand,” Cas said, seizing his chance, “I would be with you right now if I weren’t trapped…by this situation.”

“What do you mean?”

“It sort of reminds me of that time last year when you were gone for more than six weeks.”

“What, six weeks? You mean when I was imprisoned in a secret government facility for attempting to assassinate President Satan?”

“Yes, exactly like that, but with even more demons.”

“Cas,” Dean sounded wide awake now. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Like I said before,” Cas said, “I would like to see you, too. The sooner the better.”

Cas ended the call and returned the phone to Asmodeus, who tucked it inside his jacket.

“Good work, angel,” he said with a smirk, “if a bit more…overzealous than I expected. Very enlightening though. Perhaps we can continue this arrangement as a reward,” he reached through the bars again and grasped Cas’ chin in his hand, “for good behavior. Until next time.”

Cas jerked his chin away but Asmodeus left, laughing to himself, before Cas could reply.

It didn’t matter. There would be no arrangement or next time. Dean would come for him first.

There was a low moan and grumbling from the cell next to him.

“Oy, my head. What an asshole!” Lucifer groaned. “So, Cassie, what’d I miss?”

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [tumblr](https://www.edgarallanrose.tumblr.com) and/or like other people's posts that I reblog! 
> 
> Speaking of posts, if you'd care to like or share this fic on tumblr, ye may do so [thusly](http://edgarallanrose.tumblr.com/post/168225481125/a-call-from-the-vatican-edgarallanrose). 
> 
> [Edit 12/6/17: Just realized I never linked back to my tumblr post with the fic. I suck :))) the link is there now lol)
> 
> And please let me know (either in the comments or in an ask) if you found this fic via tumblr! I'm doin ~experiments and must collect data. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, friends!


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